


Don't Stop Fighting

by OnceUponAnEvilRegal



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Eventual Smut, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Older Woman/Younger Woman, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-26 15:05:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19008247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceUponAnEvilRegal/pseuds/OnceUponAnEvilRegal
Summary: When people looked at Emma Swan's life they saw perfection, little did they know that it was far from perfect. Hell it was far from decent. But things can always get worse, Emma just never expected them to. I mean really what could get worse than your mother being murdered and your father disappearing. (Read tags for warnings, like really you should, its not to be taken lightly)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first published work in ever let alone in the Swanqueen fandom so be patient with me. All mistakes belong to me.

“How in the hell is anyone supposed to get anything done when they keep giving us more homework to do, don’t they know it all just piles up!” The sound of my locker slamming shut doesn’t drown out the snort that comes out of the sassy brunette standing next to me.

 

“What the hell is so funny!?” I whip around with a scowl on my face.

 

“Well good students do their homework on time so that it doesn’t all pile up.” The raising of her eyebrows just raises my level of frustration.

 

“Not everyone can be as intelligent as you Ruby.” Laughing, she puts her arm through mine and pulls me to class knowing that by doing this she is stopping me from escaping this hell hole to find a less painful hell hole. Because let's be honest no place is happy anymore.

“They realize, they just don't care. This is their plan, they always have that meeting in the morning together so what if they all plan to pile up the work so that we can't possibly move on with our lives!! “

She says dramatically which causes all eyes to fall on us. I quietly say sorry and try and pull her down the hallway as her loud laughter flows behind us.

 

“Ha Ha. Go ahead and make fun of me but we both know it's true, to an extent of course.”

As we walk into the room we go to the back and sit in our usual trouble maker seats, I’m not a troublemaker but I can’t say the same for her. Ignoring all of the yelling and paper balls being thrown around the room, we continue to talk.

 

“I wonder if Miss. Mills will pull you out of class again?” Ruby looks at me with a concerned look that makes my stomach feel heavy. The pity that comes from these looks makes me want to curl up in a ball and descend into the underworld.

“Probably, she always does, ever since IT happened.”  I looked down trying to stop the oncoming tears from escaping my eyes while I tap on the desk anxiously. “I mean they literally put her here to talk to me so I wouldn’t be surprised.”

 

Hearing the door slam shut I quickly push her so that she is facing the other direction and attempt to pull myself together. Grabbing my earbuds I turn on my “ The world is ending” playlist and tune out the sound of our english teacher, I am not even supposed to be back to school until next week so I don't have to worry about the work. Especially considering I already did it all. As I choose a song to listen to I tune out of what's going on in the class as I plop my head on the desk in front of me.

 

No later than five minutes after I put my head down I feel a presence standing to the right of my desk, hopefully whoever it is will get the hint and walk away. I mean who the hell would try and interrupt my beauty rest, I sure as hell need it with how fugly I am.   I lift my head out of my arms just enough to look with one eye at whoever dares bother me. Only to find Miss. Mills crouching down to the right of my desk, I pull out my earbuds hoping I don’t look as dead as I feel. The tears shining in my eye must have spoke loud and clear because she smiled a soft tilt of her lips before speaking.

 

“ Why don’t you come with me so we can talk? “ she whispers and pats my hand in encouragement. I slowly nod my head before grabbing  my things to follow her out of the room. As we walk out the door I look back and motion to Ruby that I will talk to her later and that if she needs me she can text me, she just nods and smiles sadly at me.

 

It feels as though i'm doing the walk of shame as we head to her office, the voices of everyone in my life calling me weak. Saying that the moment I agreed to talk to her I became a weaker version of myself, or was I always this weak. My mind fogs up with the thoughts of how I could have ended it all, the thought of the sweet freedom death would have brought me if I only had the strength to take that step. But she stopped me, and I don’t know whether to get on my knees and dedicate my existence to her or resent her for trapping me in this hellhole of a world where I am stuck reliving this agony everyday. Ever since I started talking to her it has gotten harder, everytime she pulls me out of class to talk I can feel myself becoming more dependent on her. Leave it to me to ruin another relationship because I get clingy and overly dependent. This happens every time I let myself get close to someone, they always leave. I can’t let that happen again….  

 

I get pulled out of my consuming thoughts by the sound of a door closing. Looking up I realize that we are in her room already, honestly i'm shocked because it feels like that took a lot less time than I expected. I sigh, here comes the best yet worse part of my day. Sitting down my hands really seem more interesting to look at compared to her (that's such a lie but she is so intimidating when like this.)  I look at my hands trying to avoid looking at her.

 

“So Emma, you were pretty quiet on the walk here. Wanna talk about it?” she speaks softly as she sits down in her soft, large leather chair that is conveniently right next to my chair instead of behind her desk where it belongs.  “I’m just tired, couldn’t sleep much.” I whisper hoping she will drop it.

 

She reaches over and lays her hand on my arm lightly, she looks at me with the look I know means that she is picking apart my brain, she always knows the truth. My worst fear is that one day she will realize that she is the only reason I am still alive.

“Is there any specific reason why? Or is it just restlessness?” Her posture is less stiff then it usually is, this throws me off because she is always so proper in the way she portrays herself. Seeing her looks so hesitant is unusual and not like anything I have seen from her before. Her legs aren’t crossed and her hair has some flyaways, I even think I spot a wrinkle in her fancy ,what must be silk, shirt.  

 

I shrug and look away, I really didn’t want to talk about that today but there goes that wish.

 

“May I ask you a question Emma?”

 

I stay silent because I know the question she is going to ask. She must have taken my silence as a sign to continue because the next moment she is asking the question I have been dreading. “Stop me if I am wrong but something tells me that it might be nightmares.” she says so softly I almost can’t hear her over the sound of my heart racing in my ears.

 

I feel the tears before they fall my eyes really seem to want to betray me today.  I look away hoping she doesn’t notice, but I know that no matter what she knows the answer. I hear the scrape of a chair before i'm engulfed by the smell of apples and cinnamon as well as her arms. In that moment I break down as I am bombarded with flashes of that night that play on repeat in my head.

 

Here we go again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we get to see a glimpse of what has caused Emma to be so traumatized and get a better look at her current situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again this is my first fanfic so keep that in mind, all mistakes belong to me. Another reminder that this is an Au and there is no magic.

Crying I feel slim arms wrap around me, I try to pull away but in the end I know it is a useless feat, I can tell it is Regina by the smell of warm apples and cinnamon that has engulfed me. I start to fight back even more because I can’t let her see me like this, I can’t let her see me as weak. The scream I let out was deafening all caused by what he did to my leg, the pain radiates throughout my entire body when I move my leg , it almost feels as if it happened minutes ago instead of a month ago. I didn’t see it coming, he always seemed to be okay with me being gay but what he did proves he isn’t,well wasn’t. 

Shaking I let her hold me, crying onto her shoulder I cling to her and the solid ground that she is offering my in the form of her strength. .  
“It’s my fault! If I didn’t come out. If I left it alone he wouldn’t have done it! It’s my fault!”  
She tightens her hold on me and pulls me into her lap.

“It is in no way your fault. It is his fault, you never did anything to deserve what he did to you. It is not your fault..” she whispers into my ear as she holds me to her. “Do you want me to call Ruby down or do you just want to lay down?” 

“Both?” I question with a whimper, I would rather have her hold me but I don’t want to make her do something she doesn’t want to do. She nods and stands up to lay me on the couch. After she laid me down she quickly grabs the phone and calls down for Ruby. Watching her walk the short distance to her desk it seems as if she is walking in slow motion, or is it just my brain going in slow motion. Honestly I can’t tell the difference. Looking at her moving so slow is making me dizzy so I turn my head so that i’m looking at the smooth white ceiling. How did my life get to this, why did this have to happen, what did I do to deserve this. My vision starts to get blurry as I feel tears stream down my face. 

After a couple of minutes Miss. Mills let’s Ruby in and sits back down in her seat looking at the scene with a furrowed brow, Ruby looks over at me and immediately sets her stuff down to lay with me. I move over so that she can fit beside me positioned so that my back is against the back of the couch so that i’m surrounded by warmth and bury my face in her chest. Out of habit Ruby runs her fingers through my hair hoping to comfort me, it only makes it harder to hold in the tears that wish so bad to escape, and so they come out soaking yet another shirt today. I can tell they are talking about me but i'm so lost I can barely hear them, I can’t even feel my own breathing.

“You would be more help to her than I can. I support her but she can’t talk to me like she can you. I always make sure she knows that she can talk to me whenever, about anything but she feels better talking to you. She feels more comfortable with you.”

“Ruby…… No we both know she is comfortable with you.” The hesitation is clear in her voice, I can’t tell if its from her being uncomfortable or if its just her not knowing what to do. 

“I know she's comfortable with me but I also know that right now she is wishing you were the one holding her.”  
The room goes silent after that before I feel Ruby pull away from me. Whimpering I bury my face in the spot where she was laying before I feel an arm wrap around me and I am lifted before being laid on someone's chest. All of a sudden I smell the intoxicating scent of apples and cinnamon. I cling to her and she tightens the hold she has on me and engulfs me in her warmth. 

I wake up to the sounds of screams, the sounds of crying overwhelms my subconscious. Sitting up in bed I can feel my breathing pick up, the sounds of my pants the only sound that can be heard anymore. I clutch onto the blanket next to me, the only comfort I have in this place. Getting up I slowly crawl towards the door, my body shaking as I do. Opening the door I see a dark figure across the hall. Whimpering I quickly shut my door, my panting gets worse as I run to my bed and dive under the covers. Hoping and praying that the figure goes away. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

I wake up with a start, feeling the cold air surround me. Looking around the room I find that i'm alone, after a second realization hits that i’m in Miss. Mills room and i’m currently alone on her couch. Sitting up I rub my eyes trying to wake myself up more, looking around the room I catch a glimpse of the clock and realize that it is 2:00. Jumping up I wonder why no one has come in to get me, I know I was only gone for two hours but I still expected someone to drag me back to class. As i’m putting my bag on I hear the door open and look up to see Miss. Mills walking in. She smiled at me but then it turned into a frown when she sees me putting my bag on.

“Your leaving?” she says as wrings her hands and gives me a look I can’t fully decipher.

I look down and answer quietly, “I figured you’d want me to leave…..Its after school hours.” Keeping my head down I try to stop my body from shaking.

Suddenly I feel her hand lifting my chin so that I am forced to look at her unconsciously my eyes close trying to avoid looking her in they eyes.”Look at me Emma.” I open my eyes to see her chocolate brown eyes looking right back at me. Tears slowly fall down my face as she pulls me into her arms.After a couple of minutes my sobs turn into sniffs and the occasional whimper. Rubbing my back she pulls my head away and grazes the back of her hand across my cheak as a lone tear runs down my face. She pulls me into another hug, I sigh and hug her back knowing soon I will have to go back to my foster home.

“I talked to Miss. Lucas while I was out and she has given me permission to take you back home. Are you okay with that?” Miss.Mills says as she lets go of me.  
“That's not my home.” I say as I look away.  
She doesn’t reply with words and just settles for a nod.

Walking out of the school quietly we go to her car, jokingly I say. “I knew you would have some fancy car but a Benz! Not half bad.” I give a slight smirk, she just turns back to me smiling and shakes her head. Getting into the car I sit stiffly not wanting to ruin anything. 

Miss. Mills starts the car and we pull out of the school parking lot. Looking out the window I get lost in the trees and buildings passing by and the rumbling sound of the car. I move my hand to push my hair out of my face and a sharp pain comes from my wrist. Wincing I try not to let it show, it was deeper last night, I knew it would get caught on this sweatshirt. Before i know it i'm snapped out of my thoughts by Miss. Mills voice,“What are you thinking so hard about?” I look over to see her looking at me with a curious look on her face. 

“No-othing, it's nothing.” I stutter out and curse at myself for it. But she doesn’t say anything, just gives me a worried look. I look out the window to see my foster home and sigh. 

“I will see you tomorrow dear.” I just nod and get out of the car. 

Walking up the walkway to the door I think of everything that has led me to living here.

Flashback  
Walking through the door i’m immediately hit with this terrible stench. Pausing I try and figure out where the smell could possibly be coming from. Wondering if the smell is just a failed attempt at dinner I walk to the kitchen, but when entering I notice that the kitchen is spotless and the smell has faded into the distance. Deciding to check the living room next I head to the other side of the house.

Looking around thoughts about the time before everything went bad start to come to the surface, I can see my little 6 year old self running down this very hallway with my dad chasing me into the living room and my mother's heavenly laugh following behind. But things change, life changes. If only I had know all those years ago that life would be like this. The thing they don’t tell you throughout your life is that the only constant you will have is change, that no matter what, even when you think that finally things might stay the same, that life is okay, that things won’t change, the world, as if sensing your comfort will come in and change the smallest of things and destroy life as you know it. But how could my carefree six year old self know that these moments will be her last happy ones for years to come, that in only a year her whole life will be slowly destroyed and in some ways she will have hope, until the only thing she can trust turns on her. But right now I can block the bad out, replace it with the false sense of security that I once had. I’m scared to get lost in these memories, the good memories always give that warm sense of love and home, but then the reality of what life really is comes crashing down and it just pushes the pain and loss deeper into my chest, sharp like a knife. Cutting through the only bit of hope i have left. All of a sudden i'm hit with this indescribable smell that shocks me out of my thoughts. 

Turning down the hallway towards the living room the smell gets progressively worse. When I reach the door belonging to the living room I notice that the door jam looks broken into and I kick it open more. Everything fades into the distance the moment I see what is behind the door, suddenly it feels as if time has stopped,the world has stopped spinning. A shine catches my eye and i look to the left and find the source of said shine, it's an earing on the floor across the room, one from my mother's favorite pair. The silver border surrounding the normally crystal clear diamond, but it’s no longer clear. Now it is lying on the floor, gleaming a brilliant red where blood has dripped onto it. The drips are still coming. Slowly coating the diamond, the drips are splattering as they fall onto the earring from the height of the desk where my mother head lies surrounded by pieces of broken green glass lying in a small pool of blood. Slowly i look over to the window to see dried blood spray covering the window and as I walk over to the window I can see the three of us laying on the ground in the backyard looking up at the stars. I’m snuggled in between them thinking that this is the best day ever. I was enjoying myself so much i didn’t see the dark looming figure looking upon us just waiting for the best time to strike. I reach for the glass just hoping that i can reach out and grasp onto this memory, hoping i can get these times back, suddenly my body goes limp and i'm falling to the floor. The thing i see before I hit the floor is the sight of my mother's body slumped onto the desk and blood pooling on the ground below it, and the sight causes me to lose consciousness.


End file.
